Once Again

Once upon a time, I thought the hardest fight would be through my dreary and sad moments, the miserable downturns on this roller-coaster of life. OK, so that once upon a time was only about a year ago, but it feels like a lifetime ago, because life has been so different since then. God brought so much healing to my sadness and brokenness that I feel like my life is entirely new; I don’t feel like the same person. It’s like I finally came out of the chrysalis.

But the light of Christ…His two-edged sword of truth…His love that cuts to the heart…it isn’t satisfied with mediocrity. He loves us too much to just leave us at just “OK”. So after piercing through the lies I’ve been telling myself for years, He’s been piercing my heart right in the places where I shoved Him (knowingly or unknowingly) into the corners and blocked Him out. And to be totally honest, I’m disgusted with myself.

That being said, this year was unbelievably full of joy, of grace, and of opportunity. And I am so grateful for that. I’ve grown a lot, and made some progress in uprooting some nasty habits. I’ve made new friends, and strengthened old relationships. It’s been a truly positive year.

Now it’s gone, and here I am, full of joy but also really aware of how far I have to go. What now?

Back into the fray, of course.

Here’s the thing: that once upon a time, I forgot that there would come a time when those really intense struggles would be much less intense or even go away, because that’s generally how life goes; it fluctuates, up and down, round and sideways and backways and all the ways imaginable. Some stay in certain seasons longer than others, but  everything is a season; it comes, it goes. And then there’s everything in-between. The afterwards, the mundane, the life-as-usual, that’s a hard fight too.

This life gets boring, long, stressful, wearying–all the lot of it, but not enough usually to tear us to shreds, just enough to annoy us but little enough to let us fall into complacency. It’s that fight against complacency that’s hard, and it’s that fight that I want to resolve to fight this year. I want to end old, unhealthy patterns and forge new habits, true virtues.

I want to start by giving myself a challenge here on this blog: I want to commit to putting out at least one prose and one poetry post each month, rather than whenever the fancy strikes me. I can’t keep living for the highs and the lows in any aspect of my life; I’m hoping that consistency here will aid in consistency in other aspects. So we’ll see how this new year goes.

I apologize for the incoherence of this post; 1:30 in the morning is no time to write anything, much less an actually thought-out and cohesive post (although some of my recent papers may testify against that). Part of me wanted this to be impressive; I suppose that Litany of Humility is kicking in a bit now. This is all for Him; He’s the one piercing my complacency with His love, He gets all the glory here.

I suppose this is as good a place as any to simply stop. May God bless you and yours abundantly this year, and happy Solemnity of Mary, the Mother of God!

Advertisements

Posted on January 1, 2016, in Insights. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

The Window Philosopher

Random thoughts about stuff.

dum spiro, spero.

public notes to myself for the benefit of many

A Tangled Mass

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God, who is sending a love letter to the world." - Bl. Mother Teresa

The Soul of Rock n' Roll

Rebelling against going with the flow...Tradition, novelty, and classical wisdom with a dose of all things Rock!

Bob Rice

Sharing the love of God through speaking, singing, and writing

Not the Ends

when i can't keep my thoughts inside my head

Behold Your Beauty

finding beauty in every day life

Earnest Attempts

Just a young Catholic poet wanting to share his perspectives with the world.

Armads and Elendil

“I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.” ~J.R.R. Tolkien

Eärendil Star

One blog to rule them all. One blog to find them. One blog to bring them all, and in the light, bind them.

JNN: The Joseph News Network

Concise Weekly News for Those With Little Time

The Cultured Catholic

In the world, but not of the world. Cultured, yet counter-cultural. The Christian paradox.

Prayers and Promises

Finding Hope in This Crazy World

%d bloggers like this: